Monday, 31 December 2012

The summer of my discontent

Oh black water…. The Doobie brothers may have no worries but they never had upstairs’ overflowin’ toilet on their minds when they decided instead to go off dancing with your daddy all night long to that funky Dixieland!

Summer started out a bit shitty, no make that a lot shitty as in black water was pouring through the pot lights, bathroom ceiling and down the walls. Thank you Ms. It’s-OK-it’s-OK-no-problem-I’ve-cleaned-it-up upstairs neighbour. When you turn off the bath faucet and continue to hear running water and you know you didn’t put on a Zen waterfall relaxation CD, get the heck out of your relaxing bath and check the source of the running water!


With the precision of Jackie Chan I quickfire the stack of bath towels on the encroaching black water, chasing it as it divides into the bedroom and hallway. Flying to the disaster I see my nearly new bra which had been missing for far too long reveal itself from amongst the towels.  Every absorbent item within my reach now absorbing the water and restoration company en route, I turn my attention to the yarn and fiber room I affectionately call The Belfry. It would be needless to add that right now I am feeling very, very ill. With a box of Spin Off magazines already floating from having been in the unfortunate position of underneath a bathroom tap pot light, I entered the belfry expecting the worst. To my utter relief or was it disbelief, there was no water in the room…on the ceiling, walls, floor, nowhere! Thus by the laws of Cum hoc ergo propter hoc, a well stuffed stash is a protection against disaster, a force field even. Yarn/fiber/stash, when stored in sufficient quantity will repel water!!

One night. 2 dehumidifiers the size of filing cabinets and the decibels of Cessna engines was enough to grab a few essentials, shut the door and walk run away.